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 倾诉人:后悔玫瑰 27岁,已婚

自己都不愿相信,我竟出轨了

如果不是那次偶尔的放纵,我想我依然还是一个幸福的小女人,有个疼自己的老公、有个可爱的女儿,住在一套不大却温馨的房子里,虽然不太富裕,但小日子过得也算有滋有味。

2016年4月,公司派我和一个男同事到外地出差。提起这个男同事,我不得不羞愧地承认:其实很早以前,我就和他有一点说不清、道不明的暧昧。没想到两人竟有一起出差的机会,一路上,我表面上和那个男同事相谈甚欢,其实内心十分忐忑不安。一方面担心会发生让自己应付不了的局面,一方面却又隐隐地在期待什么。我不知道该如何解释这种心态,认为自己能够征服另一个男人是件了不起的事;也许是受强烈的好奇心驱使,想尝尝这种刺激的滋味;也许,我骨子里本就是一个花心、不知耻的女人。

想起那天晚上的事,我觉得自己真的很可耻。前一分钟还在扮演好妻子、好妈妈的角色,在电话里问候老公、女儿,嘴里兀自说着“很想你们”,后一分钟却已经和那个男同事拥抱到了一起。当然,脑海里闪现过“不可以这么做、不能对不起家人”的念头,但行动却没有受思维的控制。一直压抑着的暧昧情绪一经释放,就熊熊燃烧起来,烧得我完全没了理智,只想彻底放纵这一回。

而当激情退去,我几乎是落荒而逃。我感到没脸面对那个男同事,生怕他在心里嘲笑我的放荡。更羞愧于自己的荒唐行为,觉得太对不起老公、女儿。直到这时候,我才意识到自己到底干了些什么,会带来怎样的后果?只是,我自己都不敢相信这是真的。

该文采集于同城恋恋吧交友自白!


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